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8 Tips in Building Trust in Relationships

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8 tips building trust in relationships. Learning from our mistakes about not having trust in your relationships are usually are our biggest insights and breakthroughs.

I’ve been reading the Speed of Trust by Stephen Covey Jr. It’s been quite insightful and a reminder as I think about what role do I or have I played in my relationships with people and myself about Trust.

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I am just sharing tips on better ways to communicate and build your Trust muscles. How can you do this? When you make trust deposits like depositing in a bank account you’ll have stronger relationships.

1. Listen
Listen to your inner voice and act from this place, rather than everyone else’s opinion. This came up for me, as I was re-inventing or just changing the direction in which I was moving towards. A friend of mine, said, “You have too many people in the kitchen.” Everyone has an opinion on what I should do or not do. Valuable feedback is important, however like she said to me, I need to listen to my own heart and make a decision from what I was feeling.

2. Listen to people first.
Be willing to understand them 1st. Think of a time when you didn’t listen first, What were your results? If you had listened 1st would your results be different? So, many people ask me how do you do it Mari-Lyn? You are so good at listening. Most of the time I do listen well and sometimes..well, what can I say I fail too!

3.Listen before you speak
Listening to what the person is saying 1st, not what you are going to say to them. Drop all the head conversation. Truly listen and then respond. Don’t assume you know what matters to them. Don’t assume you have all the answers.

Roger Merrill said, “When you mike a commitment you build hope, when you keep it, you build trust. Given the impact of violating commitments, it’s vital to be careful with the commitments you make.”

4. Be Accountable
Hold yourself accountable and hold other accountable. Take responsibility for your results.

I recently had a conversation with someone who we had made a commitment to do a project together we had deadlines..some of them were not being kept and I was just ready to drop it. As I couldn’t get any sort of deadline or commitment from him. Rather than sticking to the commitment and deadlines he wanted to push the time line. I just wanted him to be accountable and stick to what we agreed to. To have our product out on time. What is it that I really wanted? Him to be accountable for his results and that we got on the same page.

5. Keep Promises
Not doing what you say you will is a deal breaker. Unless you go back to the person and re-negotiate your original agreement.

6. Keep Conversations Confidential
Don’t share information your spouse or business partner has shared with you to everyone else, even if it was information you did not agree with. Your confidentiality is a promise.

7. Don’t Gossip Negatively
The same for gossip, when you negatively gossip about someone or share confidential information then you are not trust worthy. I had a neighbor who always would ask me what the latest scoop or gossip was. I told her, unless it’s happy gossip or praises I won’t be sharing anything.

8.Build Self-Trust
Trust is so important, it will give you power and confidence = Self-Trust in yourself. Don’t attempt to PR your way out of a commitment that you have broken. Just sincerely apologize and get back on track.

Mari-Lyn Harris

P.S. This is a repost from Oct.2013

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3 Responses

  1. Sarah Park
    | Reply

    As what the cliche goes, "it takes years to build trust and only a second to destroy it." These tips you gave Mari-Lyn are very useful especially if you value and want to maintain each other's trust with your family, friends and even colleagues.

  2. SAP Online Training
    | Reply

    Very valuable tips. Please share such valuable information more with us. Once again thank you.

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