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What do Bullies want?

What do Bullies want? They want to be heard! Bullies haven’t learned how to communicate to get what they want instead they do mean and nasty things to people.

Until someone says “Enough!” By asking them, what do you want? 

The most common things they do to get attention from other people:

  • The falsely accuse of other people of any mistakes the bully makes 
  • They get angry when any comments that they name are ignored or dismissed or not acknowledged that they made. Positive or Negative.
  • They get away with double standards or polices – (like the boss really likes this person and lets them get away with things that other employees can’t )
  • They negatively gossip about co-workers or people they don’t like
  • They constantly criticize other people
  • They belittle people in meetings 
  • They will yell at people in front of co-workers to embarrass them
  • They take credit for another person’s work
  • They pick on people for their race, gender, appearance or disabilities
  • They tend to be present at work, just not doing their work or pulling their weight

This bully is like a BIG elephant in the room, employees/co-workers are reluctant to raise the subject about this person in fear of being retaliated against. Managers make it worse by not addressing the issues and the person.

Whether the person is mentally ill or doesn’t really see what they are doing or no one has reached out to them, it will only become worse. Most likely they came from a dysfunctional home and they don’t know any better. This is how they were brought up, or they have learned this is what works for them.

To solve this issue someone likely outside the workplace needs to work with this person and if they don’t improve then remove them. In every situation, I’ve found it’s best to have open communication and get some help.

Most of us have been bullied at some point in our lives, the best answer is to confront it. Otherwise, it could mean someone will go postal or get more aggressive.

It’s like a parent who doesn’t stand up for their kids when they get in trouble or need help. My mom’s favorite answer was “Ignore it!”  Meanwhile, it ruined my confidence and self-esteem. She just didn’t know what to do, or how to answer me. Rather than reaching out for help she depended upon me to solve it.

If you ignore it, it will fester rather than everyone growing and work together. It may take months or awhile to recover from it all,  in all it will be worth having a higher performing organization.

Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.” ― Roy T. Bennett

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