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Does Gossip Lead to Bullying?

Does Gossip lead to bullying? I was a victim of being picked on, bullied when I was a kid in school.  I would go home crying,  wondering why people are so mean?

My mom, just used to say, ignore them. Well, that’s easier said than done. As life has gone on..

Many circumstances I found myself gossiping too..then over time I also have realized that it’s NOT ok.

If you remember the game we were taught about whispering in someone’s ear and by the time it got to the 10th person it wasn’t at all what the beginning conversation was started with. This simply demonstrates the kind of damage gossiping does. If it’s not positive then it’s verbally abusive.

How many of us are willing to jump in or speak up against someone being mean to someone else? I would say not many of us will. I have and haven’t, thinking that it is none of my business.

If it happens in front of you, in your class or at your workplace or in your home it is your business. Not getting involved or standing up against the behavior for what is right makes you a coward or just as bad as the person who is doing mean things, or saying bad things about another person.

My niece was playing a dangerous game on FaceBook and it caused me enough concerned that I called her mother – all she said to me was “that’s not nice,” I’ll talk to her. Whatever she said, my niece un-friended me. Ok – fine. I told my niece what I thought she was doing was wrong and her response was so what?

I am still astounded by her flip attitude. I feel, that either she bullies kids or she gets bullied. Since I ousted her, she won’t speak to me, she is actually rude. Some of you may say she’s just a kid, I am sorry – she knew exactly what she is doing trying to get attention in a very negative way.

What can you do now to turn around Gossiping or Bullying?

Here’s some ideas:
▪ Listen to someone’s story
▪ Pay attention to what’s going on around you and speak up
▪ Create an environment of caring, kindness and respect
▪ Rather than have negative gossiping ask the people around to to speak of positive things
▪ Catch someone doing good things and share them
▪ Give encouragement
▪ Have meetings with both parties if at all possible

If you have ever been in defensive driving classes, they show you the damaged vehicles when someone doesn’t wear their seat belt, or what a vehicle looks like when it’s speeding and it crashes.

There ought to be offender classes for people who gossip and bully, without an effect/punishment or an attitude adjustment to change someone’s attitude and behavior?

The kids that bullied me I learned were just kids who didn’t get positive attention at home, were scared, low self-esteemed kids who would pick on other kids. It’s like they repeat the treatment they got at home.

I did actually had a guy who identified himself – called me to apologize many years later for bullying me at school. WOW! He admitted he was wrong and he was very sorry and asked for my forgiveness.

How is Bullying going to change? Only when we step in and say something, give positive re-enforcement and encouragement..this is my answer – what are your answers?

Perhaps we have become insensitive about the idea.. when we were bullies or bullied and we’ll get over it.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Many people haven’t, and it’s causing not only hurt feelings, also deaths, crimes against humanity, when is it going to stop?

When we stand up and say enough! Join the #SocialMetoo group on LinkedIn.

As an update, reached out to me if you need help about bullying for special needs children contact Francinie. Does Gossip Lead to Bullying? What’s your take?

Francinie Heller – Advocacy Associate
1330 Boylston Street, Suite 400
Chestnut Hill, MA 02467
(800) 490-3890


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