Listening is Under Appreciated

Listening is under appreciated activities we can do for each other. It’s a skill for our leaders, sales or people who want better relationships. It surprises me.

It just surprises me of how little attention it gets.

Most of the time you have heard we listen to respond not to listen without interrupting someone and having an agenda to listen. Empathic listening is the best way to listen when you truly listen, notice the other persons feelings. For coaches, parents, and counsellors listening  is one of the best way to open up the channels of communication.

Some trainers are actually suggesting that we use Empathic listening, to reach our audience or our customer that is looking for what we have to offer.

Have you ever had people that you know that just keep talking and talking and talking, they don’t even stop to ask you questions or wonder how you are doing?

I have a couple of friends, one of them prefers to just leave me long texts, or emails are about the same, a lot of mis-communication that goes on. Both of these friends have I’m not sure I would classify it as PTSD, more like ADD. Attention Deficient Disorder. One gal does call to do checkin calls, they are basically calls so she can call someone..blah, blah,

For me I need to be in the head space just to sit and listen.. otherwise I get annoyed or impatient with her. Listening is under appreciated even between friends.

On the weekend, I did with class with my friend Kimberly Wiefling, it was about creating your vision board and and expanding your BIG Hairy dreams.. Any way it’s really good, this would be my second time doing it, what I found is my Possibilities were too small. For someone who wants world kindness to happen you can’t do small visions.

Back to the Listening, learned about generous listening.. because I seem to attract people who like to do a lot of talking.. Kimberly said, maybe these gals, don’t have anyone to listen to them so they call you, because you listen. Their cups are so full of not having any one who has paid attention to them… they need to express, speak, take up your space to feel until they are ready to listen themselves.  The inner listening is required as well.

The solution is to do Generous Listening.. just let them talk.. 

So many people just don’t have people to talk to, this is why, there are the groups of people that do Sidewalk Listening. ? You don’t have to wait for someone who like to talk a lot, you can find these people at work, in your community, your neighborhood, likely your family and friends.

4 Ways Sidewalk Talk, Improves Mental Health

  1. Being the recipient of good listening lowers anxiety – both state anxiety and social anxiety.
  2. When difficult conversations are peppered with lots of sincere listening, the speaker self-esteem goes up and the speaker feels empowered to advocate for themself in a meaningful and relational way.
  3. When we are listened to with heart, our sense of relatedness or belonging goes up which directly links to one’s well-being.
  4. Good listening turns the volume down on the brain’s tendency to judge people or situations as bad, wrong, or dangerous.  It turns down the negativity bias which can get us to behave in ways that would be harmful to our mental health and our relationships.

Ever have a conversation to anyone and not say anything from using your physical expressions – the game of ____________  everyone guesses what you are expressing.

Or when someone just says, blah, blah blah, you can tell if they are excited by the energy that comes out of their voice?

I would highly encourage in checking out Kimberly’s classes about making the Possibilities happen in your life.  Here are some dates, and you can register.. It’s all by donation that she generously gives these classes. I believe she limits the classes to 20 people at a time.. Check them out for yourself.what SEEMS “impossible”, and what might make “impossible”  reach out to Kimberly Wiefling to know more about her.

If you want to learn more about how listening can help check out this video about the Conversation Cafe – with Cecilla Kremer and Adrienne Medeira, they have a non-profit that helps people have better communication.

In my final note I do appreciate the opportunity to serve by listening to friends, just sometimes I would like to be heard too! I will find a walking partner or someone who is willing to help me move forward with the new services I will be offering – check out my services page


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